Blessings :)

This summer has been full of blessings. My first week of work with the little kids day camps was so cool! I had way too much fun to be getting payed. I am loving it. Plus Kat is letting me live at her house when I am working which cuts my commute from 45 minutes to about 10. I am loving all that is happening. Then last week Kat was at CYT High School Camp and I was so bummed I could not go or work there. I went and saw her showcase at the end of the week and it was great. Everything she said about camp sounded so amazing but I knew that it was something she needed and not something I was supposed to experience. I was bummed but then at work on Monday we were told that one of our camps was canceled because we had no enrollment. This sucked because I was out of work for a week, but when God closes a door he opens another. On Tuesday Vana came to camp and asked me if I would like to work at the Middle School camp. I agreed and I am so excited that I do get to experience this. I am so happy that I got involved with CYT this summer and it is going to be painful to leave, but I will be back.

Sooooo..

I have forgotten about my blog!mI have not posted my photo a day for forever and I was forgetting to take picture and my camera was dead with no charger so that did not help. So now I am back on track and all that stuff. I am very excited for summer. I am just excited to hang out with my friends I have not seen in a long time and do pottery and do crazy fun random stuff. Also today I found one of my hats on my roommate's desk and I was a little angry but I didn't really care I just don't want him all up in my stuff. Then I go on Facebook and his profile picture is of him WEARING one of my hats at something called "420 Fest". Needless to say I am a little upset. I find it funny that he would just take one of my hats and wear it but at the same time I am pissed. Ugh it is not a good situation with him. Oh well only 2 weeks left!! 

Chargers

So this has not been my week for chargers. First my phone will not charge and it turns out my charger is not working so my friend gave me an extra one she had. It was kind of nice to not have my phone for a day though. Lonely but nice. Then I could not find my camera charger after my camera died. I looked everywhere. I looked in the place I remember leaving it about 40 times. I searched high and low and could not find it. So I stopped looking after a day of searching. Then a few days later I was putting books in the bag that I had searched 40 times and it was in there. How did I miss it?! Man that was frustrating. 

An adventure

I am sick..... lame. 

So lately I have really been craving something exciting and new. I don't know why, but I just want to pack up and go somewhere. I really don't care where, just not southern California. I am just getting a little restless. Don't get me wrong I love it here. I love Concordia and all my friends here, but I just want something new. I want to travel or move somewhere random. I just get this feeling that I am missing out on stuff. That is definitely not true though. I am still young and plus if I was living out on my own I would not have the time and money to do those kinds of things. I know I need to be patient, but I kind of just want to get on with life. I might just transfer somewhere in a year or so. That might help. There is way too much I want to do, but that darn thing called money is not really helping. I know that God will provide for what I need and if I am meant to go somewhere I will be there, but I think because I want it so bad it is hard to have that trust. I just have to be patient for now. 

As much as I want something new I still must say that souther California is one of the best places to live. Yesterday I went to the beach, came back to school, went to Disneyland, went to the Spectrum, got new shoes, got a haircut, went and got ice-cream, then finished the day with a game of Mad Gab. I am very blessed to be living in such a wonderful area, but regardless I want something new. I just want to take an adventure to somewhere. Any ideas? 

Weekend

This weekend my best friend Kat came to Laguna and it was FUN! We went to a youth conference this weekend and I am very glad I went. It definitely made me happy with the choice I have made to study youth ministry. I got to be a leader for my youth group so it was a good experience. I love the conference and I think it is a great thing that they are doing. Before the conference they have a countdown to when the conference starts, and when the clock got to one minute everyone was screaming and so excited for this conference. It was amazing to see hundreds of teenagers get so excited about worshiping God for a weekend.  

In Laguna Kat and I walked around the art galleries and went to eat at a very good mexican restaurant. WE hung out in the hotel room and walked on the beach. It was a lot of fun! 

Patrick got style advice from the girls this weekend. I am very proud of him. I don't think he was so excited but he looks good so he should be thankful.  (wow sounds a little gay). Anyways that was it. 

Exciting

So last night Invisible Children came to Concordia to do a screening of their new short film, rescue. (if you do not know what Invisible Children is www.invisiblechildren.com check it out.) I really love what this organization is about and all the things they are doing for children in Uganda. 

Anyways, the film is about a new event they are doing called Rescue. At this even people will be "abducting" themselves and waiting for a rescue. We will be spending the night somewhere in Orange County (many other cities are doing this also) and there we will be writing letter to politicians and trying to rally all the help we can get. The purpose of this is to rescue the children in Northern Uganda that have been abducted and forced into the LRA to become child soldiers. 

I am very excited to get involved and help this organization. My friend Kaala and I are planning to have a benefit concert for IC next fall. We hope to make this a big as we can possibly make it. We are really excited to see what we can make happen with this. I am just really excited to get involved and I hope to find some more ways in the future. Possibly become a roadie. 

Just for fun

I have not posted in a while so i just thought I would write about whatever. So this weekend I went to San Diego to see my best friend Kat. She was in Wizard of OZ so I went to see her play with Patrick. Getting there was a pain. I was trying to lead Alex to the place where the play was, but I missed the exit. Then I was trying to get us back there but i couldn't. Finally 20 minutes later and after consulting the GPS we got there. I felt pretty lame.

That night we went to a birthday party with a whole lot of CYT kids. It was a lot of fun. I haven't seen a lot of them in a while so it was nice to catch up. Oh and during the play (I knew a bunch of the kids in it from when I did High School Musical) my friend Tyler called out my name in a few scenes. I didn't really catch it but everyone told me he did. Everyone knew who I was and that I was going to be there that night so I guess Kat was really excited I was going to be there. It feels good to know your best friend loves you and is excited to see you. 

Then I tried to get us to Panda express the next day and missed the turn. I was not having a good weekend direction wise, but I did get us to the mall later that night. 

We watched Ratatouille later. I love that movie.

Probably the best part of my weekend was..... hold on I actually need to tell this story first. So Patrick and I made a video for his sister because it was her birthday (we wrote her a funny song basically). Then we were waiting for her response and Patrick finally got a text message after Kat's play. It said "hey your friend is pretty cut". I was pretty pleased with this because I have a comeback for when Patrick gives me crap (which he does non stop). If he calls me ugly I can just say "that's not what your sister says". Mean yes but he kind of deserves it and we both do it for fun and out of love. At least I do. So I have been having fun with that one. 

Tomorrow is open mic night and I am really excited. It will be the first time Kaala and I play in public. I have been trying to write songs but they are coming slow, but they are still coming. Hopefully one will be ready by tomorrow night. Anyways I need to study for my bio test tomorrow. 

Laziness

Oh boy, Laziness. I have been extra lazy this past week or so. I have been taking long naps and spending most of my day sitting in my bed or at my desk watching a tv show or playing on my computer. I have not exercised in a loooooong time and I feel gross. I need to get out and exercise, but it doesn't help that it has been raining for the past week. I need to see if I can get into the gym here at school. I am getting my homework done but I am just spending my days laying around my room. It is not something I want to be doing. Maybe if I had a car I would go places. Anyways just rambling about my laziness.  

Photo Project

So my sister is doing this as well as a bunch of other people, and I thought I would jump on the bandwagon. I am taking one picture a day for a year. Here is my photo blog,  http://year20photo.blogspot.com/  I am already a few days into it. Enjoy and maybe do one of your own. 

Lifity life lif lifey life......

Hello! Back at school again. It is good, I really love it here but not here if you get my drift. I love the area and the friends I have made but I do not like school. I realized I do not want to take anymore classes. I can pass them no problem and I am learning but it just isn't what I want to be doing. I want to see the world, try to make it as a musician, live my life for crying out loud!! I don't want to be back at home though. I just want to be out living working doing whatever wherever. Feeling this A LOT lately, so it got me thinking, "what do I really want to do?". Now I thought I knew and I had it all planned out, I was going to go to college study youth ministry and get a call to a Lutheran church and work there as a DCE. That sounds great, and it did at the time, there is job security and I see myself being a youth pastor someday, but that isn't what I want. That sounds boring, unexciting and frankly I feel as though I am settling. I know God wanted me to come here but I am not sure why. Why am I having such strong feelings to change my plans, my perfect safe plans? 

I love music. Anything and everything involved in music, I love it. I have wanted to be a musician since I learned how to play the guitar. So why am I not pursuing that? If all I want to do is sing and play for people and spread a message through song than why am I not doing anything to make it happen? I have no idea. I was so drawn to church work but I did not know why. At first I wanted to be a worship leader at a church but then I realized that I just want to sing and perform. Then I thought about youth ministry, I just felt called to it, I have always loved everything involved with it and I wanted to stay in church work. But then last semester one of my profs told the class that we do not need to be in church work to serve the Lord. I know that is obvious and I did know that, but for some reason that hit me and I didn't know why. I knew I didn't have to do church work but I couldn't see myself doing anything else, oh yea except performing. So what to do?

Well  the program I am in is for the Lutheran church and at the end of my schooling I will receive a call from a church and it is rumored that I have to accept this call or I have to pay back the school the money they gave me for going into church work. WHAT? AHHHHHH!!!! I don't think I can make that kind of commitment. If I go to a church I don't want to get tied down. I don't think I can settle that quickly. I mean I don't even know if this is what I want to do. There are so many things I want to do. An enormous list of things I want to accomplish. 

So I convinced myself that I am just freaking out and that plenty of people must feel this way and I was just afraid of growing up and responsibility. That worked for a while. When I could not convince myself of that anymore I tried the logical approach. Job security good, steady paycheck good crazy not to do this. But I could not block the idea that this was not the right choice. Ten after a month or two I had to punch myself in the figurative face a few times. Where was God in any of my questioning? Isn't he the one who calls the shots? I felt extremely foolish. So I prayed and prayed and prayed some more. Then I talked to Kat and she said ya you need to listen stop talking and listen. so she told me to meditate (which I am not good at there is no way I can stop my mind from racing and racing and I can't sit still for too long just "listening" I really wish I could). So I was at my wits end when I was searching on my computer and I found the letter I wrote to Kat (Kat and I wrote each other letters before I left for school. She is my best friend.) So I don't know why but I felt like reading it then was wondering why don't I read Kat's letter to me that would make more sense. So I found it and read it. Great letter, then I got to one of the last pages. This started by her talking about a man wonder what if. So this definitely caught my attention. It talked about living life doing what makes you happy and living life to the fullest. She told me to make the best of my life and that I should follow my passions no matter what stands in my way and just go and do it. I have been seeing/reading/hearing this message everywhere, in books movies, messages from people, (way to listen). Then I thought, "wow, God is really trying to tell me something huh?" 

So I prayed some more and everything felt right about this. I can honor God by living my life to the fullest ability and sharing it with others. I want to be a musician. I have been sure of that for years. So just do it. I know that it will be hard and I know plenty of things will stand in my way and I will fall. I will be in hard times trying to find enough money, but who cares. I am following my dream. God will provide, money is not something God wants me to focus on. This was a hard decision to make because the logical side of me told me that this was a bad idea. None of it sounds safe, but what is fun or exciting about safe. The disciples didn't give up everything to follow Jesus because he was safe. They would be ridiculed and shot down. They were following a very controversial man of their time, He proclaimed to be God for goodness sake that must have been odd! But regardless they followed him to live their lives dangerously, and that brought them eternally wonderful results. I don't know exactly what I will do or how I will get there but I know where I want to be so there is a start. Music is where I am headed. There is a non-denominational form of youth ministry here so that may be what I do here at school. Telling the parents will be interesting. I am happy with where I can go and the things I could do and I look forward to it, but for now back to classes.